Women are not unicorns [Маргарита Резник] (fb2) читать постранично, страница - 2

even in a very advanced society.

I have never seen a parade for masturbation. LGBT communities constantly organize mass protests in their defense and promotion of tolerance. But I didn’t see women, even feminists, who would picket in defense of masturbation.

When I was three years old, I discovered an amazing feeling in my lower abdomen when I thought about intimacy with a person I liked. I didn’t know anything about the genitals yet, but an impulse arose in my body that demanded an outlet.

The head, heart and lower abdomen are fixated on one image.

Not understanding the situation, I tried an action that was unusual for me — squeezing my thigh muscles and imagining the image of that person.

Yes, you heard correctly, my first masturbation took place at the age of three.

The next one was already at school, I was afraid to repeat what adults could scold me for.

My father had videotapes with erotic and pornographic content in his closet, which I later used for pleasure.

This is an indescribable delight, but it is also pain from the fact that I am doing something indecent and hiding it from others.

I didn’t know then that everyone was doing this.

I did not yet understand that even the most holy person is, in fact, none other than a hypocrite.

He also locks himself in his room and masturbates, driving himself into a frenzy; he simply carefully hides this behavior from his students.

No, I’m not arguing, there are very depressed people who have been so shamed that at the mere mention of “sin” they immediately become indignant and turn red as a tomato. Not only do they not masturbate, but they most likely do not experience orgasm at all.

In my opinion, one should be wary of masturbation not because of the opinions of others, but because it diverts all attention inward, thereby holding back a person from realizing his abilities and talents, from actions and attention outward.

But, if you are alone and have never experienced an orgasm in your life, then you should listen to your body, look for the right points, places, the right impact on them, and bring yourself to bliss.

Once, twice, to find out your capabilities. No perversion, no harm to yourself or anyone else. Just have fun.

It’s a funny situation — they convince us that we should love ourselves, but they make it difficult for us to love our body.

“I love my intellect, but my genitals scare me.”

“I like that guy over there, let him love me, and I will love him” — this is where a painful dependence on men arises. A woman does not love herself, does not excite herself, so the only one who can benefit from her is the one who is aroused by her. This one disappears, happiness disappears.

Ha. Have you seen this in yourself? Who had this?

I have had. If a woman does not see herself as a sexual object, she will depend on the attention of someone who sees this sexual object in her.

Masturbation, of course, does not completely solve this issue. Here we need to work deeper, with soul. It is necessary for a person, a woman in our case, to see in herself the only one she loves, wants, admires, with whom she is not bored, to whom she is ready to give all of herself.

In my opinion, this is self-sufficiency.

Self-sufficiency in itself already attracts the attention of others. People do not like half-hearted and broken, wounded and wretched people. Adequate people run from energy vampires. Nobody likes to be forced to love, we like to consciously give our sympathy to an attractive person.

Therefore, my recommendation to you, dear women, is to love yourself entirely.

Transcript: start seeing in yourself the only person you love, with whom you want to have sex, with whom you admire, with whom you are not bored, to whom you are ready to give all of yourself.

Try it and write me your results.

And we move on to the next chapter.

“The coolest guy is already taken”

You know how it happens, the hero of your novel appears on the horizon, a tall, broad-shouldered brunette with a set of the most worthy qualities, and you’ve already fluffed your feathers, put on lipstick, and then suddenly another one appears next to him.

And not some bush muskrat, but the real Angelina Jolie.

It was a setup. The blue-eyed handsome guy found a match to match. Slender with glossy hair and skin without a single hair, the pastor's daughter instantly took in the man whom I had already planned for my husband. I was twelve and head over heels in unrequited love.

Who has this happened to?

Maybe you were that same Jolie and my situation is not familiar to you, but so far I have only met those who have encountered unrequited love at least once in their lives.

This is true. Ironically, that same pastor’s daughter, after breaking up with the hero of my novel, fell in love with a local rapper completely unrequitedly. My evil side rejoiced. The kind one understood and sincerely sympathized.

The beautiful brunette never became mine, even during the breaks between other women. I lost interest in him only ten years later, having already met many people. By the way, in my book “Sugar…” I wrote the main character from him, and embodied on paper what I couldn’t do in reality. These are miracles, only for this is it worth being a writer. You create new worlds instead of burying your fantasies deep inside your soul. My husband is not jealous, don't worry. There is love in everyone's life, a lot of love, there is no need to be jealous of the past.

And now in more detail what happened to me and how I dealt with it.

Now my stepdaughter is in love with a guy who also has an uneasy relationship with her. Their situation is similar to mine, with the exception that Katerina herself is the “pastor’s daughter”. Let me be clear, my husband is a very influential person, just like me. And we have proven ourselves well, so the employee of the organization where Katerina went to work respects and values us, and this greatly influences his attitude towards the girl.

Yes, the girl is not yet a swan, she is not at all prettier than me in those years when I suffered from unrequited love, but she has an advantage. The same "Jean Claude Van Damme". Do you know what I mean?

PR. If your qualities are lacking, then you take advantage of the protection of another person. If you are the protégé of someone whom your lover values, then your status increases greatly, attention to your person grows, it doesn’t even matter that you are nothing special.

Not only was I nothing of myself, but I was also from a poor family of elderly parents, I was conceived at thirty-six by people already worn out by life, who, moreover, did not love each other. Why they needed this, only God knows, but now they are finally divorced and happy with this fact.

Olya, a tall, blue-eyed brunette with Barbie hair, always combed and thick (as if her mother did nothing but scratch her all her free time), was charming at fourteen years old, not only in appearance, but also in her relationship with an equally handsome and stately Pastor of Holy Gospel Lutheran Parish. Her father was a true leader not only for widows and orphans, he led everyone, smart and capable, men and women, teenagers and old. The hero of my novel spent all his time outside of school with this man. It is not surprising that Olya caught his eye more often than I did, and in the light of the great pastor she looked different than she might have if she were from my family.

Now I understand that she also had complexes, small breasts, high weight (due to her height), and a quiet voice. For some, this is a plus, but apparently that boy rapper did not appreciate Olya, which developed self-doubt in her.

I tried my best. The complexes consumed me so completely that it was impossible to even make a list, there were so many of them. I cried every night, and during the days I turned into a warrior, put on makeup again, dressed up and put on a smile to appear at least a little more attractive than a log.

It's true, don't laugh. Okay, I laugh too. It’s funny now to look at your past from the position of a mature, self-sufficient woman, knowing what could have been done then and changed everything, but then everything seemed so unsolvable, serious and tormenting.

If now a time machine transported me back to when I was twelve years old, I would go in for sports, get braces, it was still free. I would take vitamins, run in